"Lessons From a Baby"

A writer friend of mine and has started her latest book titled: "Lessons From a Baby".
She asked all of us new moms to tell a story about the one lesson (of many) that we learned from either our pregnancies or raising our babies. I chose this lesson and here is the story I told her-lets hope it will be in her book one day soon-she is very talented!

Prior to having Ryan I felt fairly certain that I determined my own destiny, created my own chaos and was trapped in a cul-de-sac of self-righteousness, my way IS the right way. I was childlike however in the manner in which I ran my life, doing only what was absolutely necessary to maintain dignity and riding coat tails. When we first started trying to conceive and it wasn't working, my "take action" side kicked into gear- just go through the check list of what they need us to do, show up and do it, and then we will get pregnant. Ok, well, I marked off all the things on their check list, went to every appointment, and took every drug they asked and nothing. For 7 years-nothing! I spoke to friends, family, strangers who would listen, doctors and I was told over and over again the phrases that haunts most who cant conceive-"Just let go.", "Stop trying.", and my personal favorite, "Stop thinking about it". Not succumbing to cliche, I persisted on, trying all new treatments, prayer, hypnosis, the works. Then finally a new doctor told me in January 2007 that this will never happen for us and we should look into adoption if we really want children. Devastated we returned home to a "normal" life and and my husband began to pursue a new job. The search and interview process took some time, but finally he got the job and we decided to put the adoption talk on the back burner until we moved and got settled. The time line consists of him interviewing in May, getting the job in June, and moving August 6, 2008. On August 8th I had a job interview and was getting ready. I had to dig through mountains of boxes to get everything I needed to shower and beautify, and while on my "bathroom" expedition, I stumbled upon an old pregnancy test. I was a few days late, which wasn't all that uncommon, normally all I have to do is take a pregnancy test, get a negative result and it comes within minutes. So thinking I was late because of the stress of the move, I decided to take the test in hopes of "jump starting" my period. It was positive. Say again? It was positive. Right there, in that moment, with the shower running and in the middle of moving boxes, I had an epiphany. They were all right, the cliches were right. Just when we sincerely and genuinely let go of the idea of ever being able to conceive, just when we truly stopped thinking about it, and just when I gave up on having any sort of control over the situation is when the miracle happened. From that very moment, to the pregnancy itself which is a total exercise in letting go, I have learned that none of us have complete control over everything. We can guide ourselves to be sure, we can make decision in our everyday lives that better our situation, certainly. But it is in the letting go when truly miraculous events can and usually do occur.
Jump to 10 months after Ryan being born and she reiterates the point every minute of everyday in a thousand beautiful ways. Plans, with all their good intentions, are thrown out the window because you just don't know when she will sleep, or get hungry, or have a cold, or a dirty diaper. You can't plan when they will say they first words or crawl or walk. You set up the most fabulous photo shoot to capture her lovely face and she cries the entire time only to smile when the camera is down and it isn't until later when casually taking pictures she flashes her brilliance. Now, I will admit, I still try, every now and then to dictate the order of things, usually unsuccessfully, but out of all the lessons she has taught me: the love I didn't know I was capable of, and patience I didn't know I had until now, still my motto remains "Go with the flow!" and that was the best lesson my daughter taught me from the minute she was conceived!