A writer friend of mine and has started her latest book titled: "Lessons From a Baby".
She asked all of us new moms to tell a story about the one lesson (of many) that we learned from either our pregnancies or raising our babies. I chose this lesson and here is the story I told her-lets hope it will be in her book one day soon-she is very talented!
Prior to having Ryan I felt fairly certain that I determined my own destiny, created my own chaos and was trapped in a cul-de-sac of self-righteousness, my way IS the right way. I was childlike however in the manner in which I ran my life, doing only what was absolutely necessary to maintain dignity and riding coat tails. When we first started trying to conceive and it wasn't working, my "take action" side kicked into gear- just go through the check list of what they need us to do, show up and do it, and then we will get pregnant. Ok, well, I marked off all the things on their check list, went to every appointment, and took every drug they asked and nothing. For 7 years-nothing! I spoke to friends, family, strangers who would listen, doctors and I was told over and over again the phrases that haunts most who cant conceive-"Just let go.", "Stop trying.", and my personal favorite, "Stop thinking about it". Not succumbing to cliche, I persisted on, trying all new treatments, prayer, hypnosis, the works. Then finally a new doctor told me in January 2007 that this will never happen for us and we should look into adoption if we really want children. Devastated we returned home to a "normal" life and and my husband began to pursue a new job. The search and interview process took some time, but finally he got the job and we decided to put the adoption talk on the back burner until we moved and got settled. The time line consists of him interviewing in May, getting the job in June, and moving August 6, 2008. On August 8th I had a job interview and was getting ready. I had to dig through mountains of boxes to get everything I needed to shower and beautify, and while on my "bathroom" expedition, I stumbled upon an old pregnancy test. I was a few days late, which wasn't all that uncommon, normally all I have to do is take a pregnancy test, get a negative result and it comes within minutes. So thinking I was late because of the stress of the move, I decided to take the test in hopes of "jump starting" my period. It was positive. Say again? It was positive. Right there, in that moment, with the shower running and in the middle of moving boxes, I had an epiphany. They were all right, the cliches were right. Just when we sincerely and genuinely let go of the idea of ever being able to conceive, just when we truly stopped thinking about it, and just when I gave up on having any sort of control over the situation is when the miracle happened. From that very moment, to the pregnancy itself which is a total exercise in letting go, I have learned that none of us have complete control over everything. We can guide ourselves to be sure, we can make decision in our everyday lives that better our situation, certainly. But it is in the letting go when truly miraculous events can and usually do occur.
Jump to 10 months after Ryan being born and she reiterates the point every minute of everyday in a thousand beautiful ways. Plans, with all their good intentions, are thrown out the window because you just don't know when she will sleep, or get hungry, or have a cold, or a dirty diaper. You can't plan when they will say they first words or crawl or walk. You set up the most fabulous photo shoot to capture her lovely face and she cries the entire time only to smile when the camera is down and it isn't until later when casually taking pictures she flashes her brilliance. Now, I will admit, I still try, every now and then to dictate the order of things, usually unsuccessfully, but out of all the lessons she has taught me: the love I didn't know I was capable of, and patience I didn't know I had until now, still my motto remains "Go with the flow!" and that was the best lesson my daughter taught me from the minute she was conceived!
Here is Ryan looking back at Steve just moments before he left us and a few of her last night with her beloved dog. It was heartbreaking for Jamey and I and we are so thankful Ryan doesn't understand. It is so quiet in the house now, too quiet. It amazes me what people are willing to put up with for the ones we love. We lived with what can only be described as a high pitched doggie alarm for years, and now miss that horrible sound. He was a great dog, and will continue to be a great dog-just not with us....damn..now I'm crying...again...
After a crazy cold spell had us trapped in the house for weeks, when we heard it was going to be near 80, we headed to our nearest park! Got out the bubbles and the camera and enjoyed the day! As wonderful as it was to get out of the house into some warm weather, 80 gets hot quick! How does it go from 19 to 80??? It seemed the entire town was out and about and half were completely confused on how to dress...myself included-as if we didn't trust the weatherman...most continued to wear sweaters!! Man, did we look silly!
Seriously, look at her, she looks at least 18 months! Geez-she is only 10 months!!! This is the first time she has worn a dress in months (she usually wears jeans) so I had no idea really that she had such chunk-a-monk legs! Dontcha just wann eat em??
Ahhh...to be a kid again, where the simplest objects thrill and delight!! Bubbles are just the ticket, and dont think for a second I didn't go out and purchase the mega bubble wand accessory kit! I have now over 20 wands to choose from, of coarse, they all pretty much blow round soapy bubbles...hmm...doesn't sound so cool when you write it down, but trust me, if you were in the store, you would have bought them too!
SUPER FLY! Yup, Ryan is kickin' it old skool in her Puma track suit, heading to watch the ballas from Georgia Southern take on Stephan Curry (lets face it- he IS Davidson). Unfortunately we lost by a million, but at least my child was freshy fresh!
Ryan loves to have her toofies brushed and not only that, but my girl (who aged overnight it seems), now likes to brush them herself. So this got me thinking, what else can I get her to do by herself-change her own diapers, the litter boxes, laundry, make dinner, pick up groceries???? All in due time I suppose!!
The day we have been waiting for (or dreading) has arrived. Ryan crawled!!! And she did it in sneaky fashion too. Jamey had to go to an early weights session as punishment for his girls skipping study hall (more of a punishment for us, but whatever) and she picks the one morning he is gone to unveil her biggest accomplishment to date (although he should probably get used to missing stuff). I was in the kitchen getting chicken out for dinner, making her breakfast and left her on the living room floor (usually safe-she never went anywhere before) when all of sudden I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye and it was Ryan crawling into the kitchen like she had been doing it for months. I turn around and gleefully say, "Well, look at you!" then I had to quickly grab her becuase Steve's breakfast must have smelled good to her cause she made a beeline for it and about got a handful of dog food! AND SO IT BEGINS...the chase is on, the endless stream of "no's", "put that down'", "dont pick that up", "dont put that in your mouth"-I'm exhausted just writing about it. I never really said "No" to her before, but now I found myself saying it more and more...the funny part about that is, as soon as I say it-3 animals and a baby stop whatever it is they are doing and at least 2 of them were doing something wrong anyway! Now I can hedge my bets.
A writer friend of mine and has started her latest book titled: "Lessons From a Baby".
Ok, so let me preface this by saying-I don't care either way. I really don't. All I really wanted her to get from Jamey was his laid back kind personality and my sense of humor and clever charm. :)
So we heard a horrible rumor that there was a cold front heading our way and by the end of next week it was supposed to get down in the teens at night! Now, I like to poke fun at these "southern folk" when they tell me it is cold when it is 60, but 18 degrees really is cold!!! So we decided to take advantage of the warm sunny Saturday we had left and we headed to Forsyth Park in Savannah. It was gorgeous!!! About 69 degrees, very sunny and breezy-perfect! We laid our blanket out, gave Ryan a few cookies and a book to keep her occupied for just a few moments while we ate our chicken, potato salad, cole slaw and bread! It was divine. Then it was Ryan's turn for a little chicken noddle lunch with applesauce (homemade) and she seemed just as thrilled. The park was hopping, I can only assume the nasty weather rumor had spread and everyone wanted to get at least one good day in. Can you believe how green it looks in early January?! Awesome park on a perfect day!
